


same love

by danklesbo



Series: gay peter parker adventures [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Coming Out, Fluff, Gay Peter Parker, Gen, Hurt, Internalized Homophobia, Irondad, Lowercase, M/M, Tony Stark acting as Peter Parker’s parental figure, part of a series, read in order please!, spideyson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-15 01:14:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19285075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danklesbo/pseuds/danklesbo
Summary: and i cant changeeven if i triedeven if i wanted tomy love, my love, my love.





	same love

**Author's Note:**

> song used in summary/title is same love by macklemore! this is a repost because i deleted the other one lmfao.

peter parker wasn't sure if it was possible to die of embarrassment until the moment he began bawling his eyes out in a car that probably cost more than five months worth of his apartment's rent next to tony fucking stark.

it was such a simple comment. a simple 'fatherly' tease, if you will.

_ "so, who's the lucky lady?" _

but peter couldn't help taking it to heart. how could he not? he was already terrified to even breathe a word about his sexuality to anyone else besides his boyfriend.

so there he was, watching his tears stain the expensive leather beneath him as he choked on his own hiccups. he heard tony's worried questions, but it sounded like he was underwater. like he was alone.

he always felt alone.

peter inhaled sharply, a quiet strangled  noise bubbled in his throat as he held his arms protectively over his body.

he distantly felt tony's hands on his shoulders, he distantly heard his words of comfort. so far, but so close. his body wasn't registering the touches, his mind wasn't registering the words. everything felt so pointless.

he couldn't do this. he couldn't. he felt like he was drowning.

his chest heaved, breaths coming out of his mouth in short puffs. why was this so hard? why was it so complicated?

peter slowly let himself come back into reality with the help of the soothing words that tony cooed quietly and comfortingly.

"it's okay, peter. i'm here." , "don't worry about anything else right now, bud." , "i got you, pete. i always got you."

as his breathing patterns slowly returned back to normal and his heart stopped beating so damn fast, he was determined to not look the other man in the eyes, he knew that if he saw the worry swirling in those dark brown orbs, he'd burst out crying again.

tony's hand rested on his knee. it was quiet for a few minutes, the only sound filling the car was the slight whir of the engine and peter's uneven breathing.

"peter, what-"

"home." peter instantly interrupted.

before tony could even speak again, peter beat him to it. "home. i need to go home, i can't go to the lab today- i- i can't." he breathed out quickly.

peter clenched his fists hard to prevent them from shaking as much as he knew they would if they were let loose. god. this was not how he wanted to spend his afternoon. he'd wanted to go to the lab with tony and goof off and joke, and not have to do this whole thing.

after a few seconds, peter felt the warmth on his knee slip away and as soon as it was gone, he wanted the comfort back.

tony cleared his throat.

"alright."

and just like that, he drove him home.

* * *

 

two weeks.

that's how long it'd been since the 'car incident' as peter had dubbed it in his head.

it'd also been two weeks since he'd spoken to or saw tony.

and that was torture enough. he couldn't focus any longer, in class, he would look everywhere but the board and his grades began to reflect that. he watched as his A's and B's dropped to C's and D's, even an F was thrown into the mix

he couldn't help himself.

everyday, tony texted him.

and every time he did, peter hated himself more.

_ 5:37pm _

_ tony: hey, can we talk? did i do something that upset you? _

_ 12:03pm _

_ tony: hi, peter, what's up? _

_ 10:29am: _

_ tony: i'm getting the feeling you're ignoring me. ha. _

_ 2:50am _

_ tony: please call me back. i'm not mad at all. just worried. _

as peter sat on his roof and scrolled through the many more messages from tony with no response, he couldn't help the quiet sniffle that came out before he could even stop it. it was around 4:00am and he still couldn't sleep. all he's been able to do lately is stare at the messages from the other man until his eyes burned.

the roof used to be a safe spot for him. a place where he could go and just breathe and relax to the constant sound of cars honking and watch the stars shine in the polluted sky of queens.

but lately, the roof had just stressed him out more as he kept the secret of his sexuality.

the teenager breathed a heavy sigh before he turned off his phone and carefully placed it next to him.

he spent the minutes simply sitting, fondling the hole in his sweatpants until it got bigger and bigger and he could feel the cold air on his calf.

peter jumped slightly when his phone pinged with the alert of a message. who in the world would be texting him at this time? he just wanted to be alone, he physically and mentally cannot handle anyone else right now.

he snatched up his phone and squinted his eyes at the bright light.

_1 message from tony_

his eyes instantly widened and he sat up straighter. he stared at the notification for all of five second before slowly uncurling his thumb to tap on it. small beads of sweat began to form on the crown of his forehead, despite the chilly weather.

_ 4:10am _

_ tony: two minutes away. just cause you're going through some teenage angst does not mean you break curfew, buddy. maybe next time you can hack your tracker. again. _

_ tony: that was a joke, don't actually hack it please. _

peter's mind went blank for a few moments before he finally caught up with the situation. tony was coming. his whole body jolted at the simple thought and his hand flew to his mouth so he could continue his habit of biting his nails while nervous.

how could he be so stupid? he should've disabled that dumb phone tracker that tony had installed all those months ago. he let out a small groan of frustration.

peter's enhanced ears were able to pick up the familiar sound of rocket thrusters nearby. he glanced at his wrists, both had his webshooters secured around him, canisters full too.

he bit his lip while he considered his option to escape. he could make it pretty far and hold him off for just a bit more.

but did he really want to?

the sound got closer and closer and peter glanced up to see the iron man suit get near.

peter sighed in defeat and slumped back against the fire escape, crossed his arms, eyes closed as he listened for tony.

it took no more than a few moments for peter to hear the iron man boots clank against the roof in front of him. he heard tony step out of the suit, he heard tony breathe out a sigh, presumably at the sight of peter.

peter felt anger and frustration bubble in his chest. he didn't need all this. he just wanted to be left alone. he just wanted to be fucking normal.

the boy cracked both his eyes open and glared at tony, who hovered over him with an unreadable expression. there was a beat of silence as both silently examined how one looked after two weeks of no contact with the other.

peter was the one who broke the silence, he stood abruptly while he pocketed his phone and maintained eye contact with tony.

"you know, i am really not in the fucking mood for whatever lecture you've prepared, mr. stark." that was the first time peter called tony 'mr. stark' in about five months.

he hoped he sounded pissed enough for him to lay off. peter couldn't handle doing this right now.

when there was no response, peter spared a glance towards the older man, who's face broke out into a tired smile as he took two long strides and engulfed the younger boy into a warm hug.

peter wished he wanted to push away, to scream, to yell until his throat hurt. but all he really wanted was this hug. he let his shoulders fall as he melted into tony's arms, hooking his own lithe hands around him, shoving his face into his chest and inhaling the scent of his father figure mentor.

"hey, pete." tony murmured as he rested his chin atop peter's head. his fingers twirled around his soft curls and peter felt more relaxed than he's felt for a long time.

he exhaled into tony's shirt and muttered a quick, shaky "hi, tony."

and for a second, everything was gone.

it was just peter and tony. tony and peter. it was just them hugging and tony’s fingers twirling his hair. peter wanted to sob with relief, he wanted to tell him everything.

but for now, the two just held one another in each other’s arms.

the sounds of late night traffic hummed below them, the stars twinkled above them, the feeling of tony’s heart beating rested against peter’s ear.

he knew what he had to do.

he knew he had to tell him.

it was either now or never and peter was not willing to let this go unsaid. he couldn’t. it’d been plaguing his mind, his soul, his heart.

peter pulled away, a newfound energy coursing through his veins.

he quickly returned to his spot by the fire escape, patting the empty spot next to him in a silent invitation for tony to sit.

tony looked relieved too, his face relaxing slightly as he complied and crammed himself into a criss-cross sitting position and muttering about how he was too old for this.

the silence hit again.

the same silence that hit during the car incident. the same silence of the hug the two just shared.

tony broke the silence this time and peter was grateful because lord knows he wouldn’t have been able to speak first.

”alright, we’re doing this.” tony grunted, twisting his neck to look at peter. “what’s happening? everything. i’ve been watching your grades go to shit, i’ve been watching you read my texts, i need to know what’s going on peter.”

peter looked up at him. tony’s eyes were full of worry, sleep deprivation, and love. guilt hit him like a bullet. he caused this so he has to fix it.

”i-“ he started, but had no idea how to finish. he made it a point to look down because there was no way he’d be able to say what he had to say while looking at him.

”it’s okay, peter. take your time.” his voice was sincere, solid, gentle, constant. his hand was rubbing comforting circles on his knee.

peter exhaled sharply, his eyes wandering to the lights of the city as he attempted to gather the strength to tell him.

”i’m- shit. i’m gay, tony.”

his voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. his eyes stung with tears and with the need to sleep for once in what felt like five years.

the silence hit again, tony’s hand stilled on his knee.

this is it, peter thought. this is the part where he hates me forever and thinks i’m wrong and disgusting and-

“oh, peter.” his voice was soft and loving and it just made the urge to cry even stronger.

peter slowly looked up at tony and hoped that he didn’t look as pathetic as he felt. his finger toyed with the hole in his sweatpants again as he searched tony’s eyes for some kind of reaction.

”peter, thank you so much for trusting me with that. i need you to know that i love and support you so, so fucking much, bud. i-“

tony blinked heavily and quickly swiped his eye.

”i will always accept you no matter what. no matter who you love. peter, shit, i just-“ he seemed to have run out of words because instead he pulled peter into a tight hug.

peter sniffled into tony’s shoulder, a gigantic weight felt like it just got lifted off his chest and flung into the hudson river. he’d never felt like this. he’d never felt so relieved, so happy.

”thank you. thank you, thank you, thank you. holy shit, tony, thank you.” his voice was cracky and high and a tear teased his waterline, but he didn’t care.

tony gently shushed him. “you don’t have to thank me for showing basic human decency, kid. it’s okay. i love you, it’s okay.” he cooed.

peter pulled away, but still kept their arms touching.

the silence hit again, but this time it wasn’t melancholic or upsetting. it was a comfortable silence full of nothing but breathing.

tony cleared his throat. “but-“ he began slowly, his gaze centered on peter.

”that only half explains the hickey.” his face was in a teasing smirk, his eyebrow raised and his tone was joking.

peter couldn’t help the snicker that bubbled in his throat. “oh really?” he stalled playfully.

tony sat up, excitedly tapping his knee like a middle school girl at a sleepover.

”who was it? is he cute? are you dating? how long have you guys been together? what’s happening? tell me everything.” he rambled, his face in a wide grin.

peter’s face flushed and he hid his face beneath his fingers, though his smile was bright for the first time in a while.

“who’s the lucky guy?” he asked, correcting himself accordingly.

peter breathed out a mix of a sigh and a laugh.

”okay, so-“

and peter told him everything. from the start to finish. the two sat laughing, joking, and teasing until the sun began to rise over the skyline.

peter had never felt this light in a while. he felt his problems slip away and dissolve like sand beneath his fingers while he laid there, enjoying tony’s affectionate touches.

he closed his eyes contentedly.

 

_ strip away the fear, underneath it’s all the same love. _

 

_ about time that we raised up. _

 

**Author's Note:**

> sorry this took forever! i was a goof and accidentally deleted this the first time it posted, thank fucking god for google docs lol! i hope you enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it <3


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